The Color of Sand
by crtjester
Summary: Set before PD1, Joseph has kept his feelings to himself, and watches over Clarisse as someone new steps in. FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own PD and/or it's characters. I get nothing from this but satisfaction, and am responsible only for the following storyline.

* * *

Chapter 1

Sweeping through the open double doors, Charlotte crossed the room to Her Majesty's desk. It was a Sunday, however the afternoon still required prompt attention to some foreign matters. Queen Clarisse dotted the few i's in her name, and awaited for more papers to sign.

"Just one more for you to sign," as Charlotte dropped the heavy propostion before her. Clarisse picked up her pen and thumbed through the pages to the end, where she signed. "Your Majesty, you also have a dinner invitation for tomorrow night."

"I'll be in Cairo tomorrow night," Clarisse stated to her aide, while slipping off her glasses.

"Yes, m'am. It's from a Talmadge Mendoza, he states he will be in Cairo as well, and would like to meet with you." Clarisse leaned back in her chair, a wide smile playing on her face. Clearly she was more than happy to hear the name.

"Charlotte, send word that I accept, and am looking forward to seeing him again. Please make all the regular arrangements as well for me to attend." She traced her lips with her glasses.

"Yes, Your Majesty." Charlotte turned to leave, left bemused by her Queen's sudden excitment.

Joseph stood rooted by her door, having heard every word of the invitation. It more than peaked his curiousity, and frankly he didn't like it. He never liked her dining with any man, but one he didn't know tore at his soul. She seemed to love the idea, and that was much more than a usual political dinner would ever get from her. He tensed at the thought of another man with her, but was brought back by the clicking of her heels.

"Joseph I'd like to leave shortly, if you would make the arrangements please," she threw out his orders as she walked swiftly by, heading toward the grand staircase. He had never felt so belittled in his life. She was only doing her job, and asking him do his, but there was much more. Clarisse had left him cold. There had been something harsh in her voice, and it had been directed at him.

* * *

He sat on the jet, watching her smile to herself, looking out the porthole of a window. She even seemed to glow. Joseph thought he would be sick. He tried to read, to take his mind off the situation, but to no avail. How could he forget? This woman across from him, he was passionately in love with. Yet he had never had the strength nor the opportunity to let her know. To be honest, he was even scared. Not of the Queen herself, but of the power she would have over him if she did not return his love. It would be humiliating, to say the least.

Cairo was only an hours flight away. Clarisse squirmed in her seat, unable to surpress the excitement of seeing him once again. Her head filled with memories, putting a smile on her lips. Yes, he had made her happy. Staring out the window, she wondered if he had changed much; how he would look, what he would sound like, if he still had that geeky sense of humor she had loved in him. It wasn't often she had something so marvelous to look forward to on one of her trips outside the country. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

* * *

She was beautiful. Joseph stood inside her suite, watching her lean against the railing on her balcony. The wind blew slightly, just enough to ripple her hair. He loved when she leaned back as the air passed over her face. The sun shone bright, almost illuminating the white outfit she wore. Cleary she was enjoying the view, the few minutes of peace and quiet she was not use to. He wanted to tell her now, and was trying to persuade himself to take the few steps out to meet her. His feet wouldn't move. Clarisse was happy now, and who was he to impose on her happiness. After all, that is all he wanted anyway.

"Joseph?" Charlotte called to him rather unexpectedly, breaking his train of thought.

"Oh, yes?" He turned to her, as she busied herself around the suite.

"Her Majesty wanted me to let you know that you can take tomorrow night off."

"What? Wait, I thought she was going out?" His curiousity peaked.

"She is, she insured me that she will be well protected, and there's no reason for you to have to come along. Take the night off, Joe, you're in Cairo, surely you can find something exciting to do!" Charlotte smiled at him, expressing her excitement at being here.

Joseph put one foot in front of the other, this time moving slowly, however in the wrong direction. All he had to do was turn around, but his body kept heading for the door to his suite. His feet were heavy, as well as his heart. He had been dismissed on a night that he wanted to be with her more than ever. Just thinking of someone else touching her made him boil with anger. It came to him that no one could protect her like he could, and he intended on doing so, whether she knew it or not.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

Dressing for the warm Egyptian weather, Queen Clarisse gathered herself together, eager to complete her duties in the city, to be free to be no more than a woman in Cairo later that evening. She sat, more than ready for a morning cup of tea, noticing the pile of papers that Charlotte had already accumulated for her so early in the morning. Ordinarily she would have felt overwhelmed by the enormous pressure presented on her so early; however, this morning Clarisse simply sipped her tea, and began whistling a cheery tune while scanning the documents.

The last time he had heard her whistle was for her young boys. According to her, Queens most certainly never whistle. It seemed that she was breaking that tradition this morning, and it bothered Joseph to no end. He didn't know whether to be amazed or just plain angry, or both. He had spent most of his night thinking about who this anonymous man might be, and why his Queen was so taken to just the thought of him. Remembering Charlotte's words, Joseph considered planning his evening out, as the Queen had excused him from hers.

Joseph stepped into her suite, walking over to pour himself a cup of hot coffee. When the cup was full, and he had sit, and still she had said nothing to him; he finally took it upon himself to speak first.

"Good morning, Your Majesty." Joseph held his breath, waiting for a response. Nothing. Still nothing. "I said, good morning..."

"Oh, Joseph, yes...good morning," she barely uttered out, not looking up from the paper in her hand. Clearly she was not in the mood for conversing, at least not with him.

Feeling even more bitter, Joseph put down his cup, and stood to leave. As he began to move, the bitterness in his heart overtook him, and wanting to give her a taste of it, he quickly made a move he would have never pictured himself doing. As she was clearly enveloped in herself, he quickly switched his coffee for her tea. Mumbling under his breath, "That will give her a taste of bitterness." Joseph walked off, not caring enough to know how it turned out.

As Charlotte walked in, the proper Queen of Genovia was standing and spitting, trying to utter a rather profound word all at the same time. Seeing the dark liquid running down, Charlotte quickly grabbed a napkin and began to pat it softly, like it would make it disappear instantly.

"Oh, Charlotte, never mind, it's ruined! Coffee! Coffee was in my cup!" She said the words, still not quite understanding them herself. "I'll have to change before the luncheon. Oh, I'll change right now. I can't believe this. Maybe I was so wrapped up in reading...I just didn't notice what I was doing."

"I'll have it cleaned, Your Majesty," trying to sound reassuring.

"No, need. I loved this outfit, but there's no way it'll ever come out." Clarisse was beside herself, not willing to believe that such a horrible stain would ever just disappear. It mattered not anyway. To her, it was just another outfit, and it was easily replacable. "Joseph would you mind..." She looked over to where he was, or where she thought he had been.

"Excuse me?" Charlotte questioned, hardly believing Her Majesty had mistaken her for Joe.

"Oh, I'm sorry Charlotte, it's just that I thought Joseph was in here...Maybe I'm not myself this morning," quickly covering for herself. "I did stay up late last night."

"You are still going to the luncheon?"

"Oh yes. I have to. These matters have to be settled today. I'll be fine." Clarisse left to change, leaving a bewildered Charlotte looking at the mess she had left.

"She's definitely not herself," Charlotte mumbled when Clarisse was out of earshot.

* * *

"Shades, Joe. Yeah, everything's fine. Listen, I need information on a Talmadge Mendoza; T-A-L-M-A-D-G-E M-E-N-D-O-Z-A, that's right. The usual, well anything and everything you can dig up. As soon as possible." Joseph hung up his cell, eagerly awaiting for the return call from the palace. If there was anything there, Shades would find it. Joseph had always said that if you needed someone to find a needle in a haystack, Shades was your man. He tried to relax, giving his watch a glance. Only an hour before she needed to leave. That would have to be enough for him to take care of anything that came up.

* * *

"How's this," Clarisse asked, as she spun in front of her trusted aide and friend.

"Wonderful," Charlotte reassured her, trying to ease her Queen's mind.

"It's not what I wanted to wear, but it'll have to do. Charlotte, my plans for tonight, is everything taken care of?" It was her way of asking if the dinner date had not been broken.

"Yes m'am. I accepted, and it has been confirmed only this morning." Clarisse smiled, hoping he had not been called away. She was so looking forward to this.

"Very well. Thank you. And Charlotte, if you wish, you can take the rest of the day off, I mean I have to leave shortly, there's no point in you working all the time." Clarisse was feeling so generous at that very moment, she would have given the world the day off had she had that much power.

Deciding to take it while she offered, Charlotte accepted. "Thank you, Your Majesty, I'll leave your schedule here on your desk."

* * *

"Joe." The voice at the other end of the line sounded like it was coming from the next room.

"What have you got?"

"Not much to tell, he's got security clearance, full level, he's been here at the palace before, five years ago."

"I don't remember him." Joseph was intrigued.

"Well, you know we can't remember them all."

"Anything else?"

"Nothing grand, Switzerland businessman, no prior criminal record, not even a parking ticket, seems to be clean as a whistle," Shades rambled off without taking a breath until he was finished.

"Family?" Joseph was curious.

"Parents, father's dead, mother's in a home...single, no kids reported, no siblings either."

"Very well. Thanks."

"Anytime..." Shades hung up, and left Joseph even more confused as to who this man was.

* * *

Taking a deep breath, Clarisse relaxed into the soft, plush seat of the limo. It had been a long, hot morning, and business matters had lasted longer into the afternoon than she had preferred. She let the cool air engulf her, soothing her warm skin and throbbing head. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, letting herself imagine the evening was already upon her.

Joseph watched her, couldn't take his eyes off her really. She was beautiful. She was always beautiful to him. He was so close, and yet so far away from her. Shifting in his seat, he tried to occupy his mind elsewhere, but to no avail.

"Joseph, what's the matter?" Clarisse opened her eyes, simply bothered by his uneasiness.

"Your Majesty?" Joseph turned toward her, shocked she even noticed him.

"You're fidgeting. You only do that when something is bothering you," she explained.

"It's nothing." Joseph was amazed she had noticed that about him. Maybe there was a chance after all, albeit a slight chance, but one nonetheless.

Clarisse gave him her stern look, waiting for an answer.

"It's just that I don't believe you should go out this evening without any security," Joseph stated bluntly.

"I see. I'll be fine, besides, there is security where I'm going. No, it's not my security, but I'll be in good hands."

"I'm sorry, but it is my duty to see to it that you are guarded at all times." Joseph quickly made the usual excuse.

"Joseph, you take your job very seriously, and for that I thank you. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you. If you really think you need to come with me, then so be it. I was looking forward to an evening of at least a little privacy though. Would you mind backing off a little later on?"

"Certainly." 'A little privacy'? Joseph was beside himself, and had already made up his mind to make sure she had very little privacy tonight. If there was a 'green-eyed monster', then Joseph had been completely transformed at those words.

* * *

You're reviews encouage me!

Laura


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

* * *

Watching her pace the suite, eager to meet her date for the evening, Joseph was beside himself with jealousy. He stood at her door, it being like second nature to him, trying to hide the fact that he was hurt. No, not physically, it was much worse than that. His heart ached for her. Now he was wandering if, in fact, he should let her go alone tonight. How could he watch her with someone else? Then again, the only way to keep her truly safe was to be with her. He wanted to keep her safe. If that was all he could ever do to her, then so be it.

Joseph felt a little dizzy. His head was hot, and he had broke out in a sweat. He had been watching her, his eyes like those of an eagle glaring at its' prey. She was dressed in pure gold. Joseph thought how appropriate that was, she deserved it, and could wear it like no other. So he stood in awe over his beautiful Queen, admiring her form, and undressing her in his mind.

"Joseph. Joseph? Joseph!" Clarisse finally got his attention.

"I apologize, my Queen, I wasn't paying attention." Joseph was sure she could see right through him.

"I can tell, please get the door." Her voice was stern, and she merely treated him as a simple servant. It put another hole in his heart.

"Clarisse!" a voice called, as the doors were opened. "Clarisse, you are simply beautiful!" He kissed her hand, then her cheeks, then finally landing on her lips, just a little too long for Joseph. Whoever he was, he had picked his Queen up, and was now spinning her in the air, in a tight embrace. Clarisse giggled at this, at him, and seemed perfectly okay with his actions. Joseph, deciding it was too much, tried clearing his throat.

"Oh, Joseph...ah, Joseph," Clarisse began, as he allowed her feet back on the floor, "I'd like to introduce Talmadge Mendoza, an old friend of mine, as well as my date for the evening. Talmadge, this is Joseph, my bodyguard and head of security. I hope you don't mind?" Clarisse turned to her old friend, "I do need my security, I am a Queen..."

"No apologies, Clarisse. I understand completely. Frankly, I could care less. I am so excited to see you, I like the idea of having an audience tonight." Talmadge took her hand, and kissed it again, bringing more laughter to her lips. Indeed, she did look radiant.

"I still can't believe it! I was so afraid you would have to cancel.."

"Oh no, not this time. I told myself only the end of the world could keep me away." He took both of her hands this time, and looked her over. "My, you are gorgeous."

"Why thank you, kind sir," she teased. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Joseph couldn't see what was so good about him. Average man, fairly dark skinned, in shape, so-so facial features, dark hair. Joseph hated him. What was even worse, Clarisse seemed to love the man. She glowed, she smiled, she paid no mind to him or the rest of the world. Right now that man had her attention.

"Shall we?" Talmadge offered her his arm. Joseph could feel his face turn red. He was the only one who could do that.

"I'd love to," she accepted his offer.

Joseph followed behind, secretly wanting to shoot the bastard.

* * *

Joseph stood at the bar, drowning his fifth whiskey, watching the performance this strange man played to is Queen. All evening she had laughed at him, to him, and for him; and all evening Joseph had envied the man. They had been seated in a private area, whereas Joseph had the only view of the couple, citing it as security reasons, of course.

It had been so long since Joseph had seen her so happy, so full of life. He had hoped and dreamed that one day he would be able to do that for her. So here he sat, drinking away the pain as this stranger stole his dream.

Seeing as how this stranger carried security of his own, and having seen too much for one evening already, Joseph decided he had had enough. He was quite certain his Queen would never miss him, after all she had not even glanced his way once the whole evening. Joseph stood to leave, not having enough courage to even glance her way once more. She did say she wanted privacy, so privacy was what she was going to get. After all, if Clarisse had something planned, Joseph knew he wouldn't stand to see the two of them intimate.

* * *

"Talmadge," squealed Clarisse, "put me down!" He had her over his shoulder, both of them laughing, with grins a mile wide. At the sound of her screams, Charlotte and Joseph emerged from their adjoining rooms, eager to see if she was hurt. Both of them stood in awe as they sat their eyes on the couple, obviously having stayed out all night.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty, I thought something was wrong," Charlotte explained, backing out and into the other room. Joseph slipped back, hoping to be invisible, just as he felt.

Looking around to make sure they were alone now, the couple burst out in laughter again. Talmadge dropped Clarisse, almost falling over himself.

"Too much champagne?" Clarisse asked, sure it was.

"No, I'm just high on you." Talmadge hugged her once more, not wanting to let her go.

Joseph couldn't resist. Slowly, painstakingly, he turned the knob, cracking open the door just enough to watch them.

"I'm so glad we got together," Clarisse was telling him. "I never imagined I'd ever see you again." She let him take her hands, and kiss them, smiling up at him after.

"We should do this more often, much more often." Talmadge took his finger, lifting up her chin. "I miss you."

"Mmm, I miss you too. Thank you for last night," she almost said in a whisper.

"No, thank you."

"Do you really have to leave today?" Clarisse pouted.

"Hmm, now don't you think one of us must get back to work?" Talmadge wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her once more. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Clarisse, let's get together again, I mean I want to see you more often." He let her go, still holding onto her hands.

"I'd love that," she smiled to him. "You know I would, and you know where to find me."

Talmadge let go of her hands as he walked backward a few steps towards the door. Blowing her a kiss, he left. Joseph quietly shut his door, not wanting to believe what he had seen and heard. He leaned back against it, his heart having been shattered at the scene.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

Crawling onto her bed, Clarisse smiled, remembering the previous night with Talmadge. They had danced all night, well into the early morning hours anyway. He had taken her on a short guided tour of the popular city of Cairo which was lighted beautifully during the night, and then on to breakfast. She had not remembered being so happy in a long time. Sighing, she closed her eyes, trying to catch a nap before having to return to her queenly duties. True, she was still fully dressed, and her heart and mind raced at the excitement of him, but she was exhausted and willed for sleep to overtake her, even if just for a few hours.

* * *

Joseph had finally pulled himself together enough to emerge from his room. Her suite was quiet, and he had figured she had fell fast asleep. He stood looking at the door to her bedroom, and desperately wanted to catch a glimpse of her sleeping, as she looked so beautiful and innocent like that. No, he could not bring himself to look, just a peek would be all his heart needed right now to fall apart.

Instead, Joseph chose the decent thing to do. Deciding to go out, he knocked on the make-shift office door, and at her "come in", Joseph informed Charlotte that he was going out to breakfast. It was his way of asking if she needed him, for he was never one to leave unannounced.

* * *

Strolling the narrow streets of the city, now coming alive with the morning sun, Joseph found himself amongst the rush hour of the Egyptian work force. Now that he was in the midst of it, it wasn't much different from his own country. True, the language was foreign, and the dress had room for improvement, but the citizens were much the same. Smiles greeted him as he made his way, strolling the sidewalk, eager to taste the local cuisine.

Finding shops and gift stands were easy, as they were everywhere to be seen. Clearly the livelihood of the folks here was tourists, and they depended on them for survival. Joseph had caught the attention of many of them, causing them to wave and motion him to join them, eager for his credit card number. He had turned them all down, telling himself that souvenir buying could come later, besides he was here on business and not pleasure. No, there had been no pleasure on this trip.

It was the woman standing in her doorway that caught Joseph's attention. She was old and short, slightly bent over at her back. She reminded Joseph of his own mother, her frail body as it had gotten older and much wiser. Her head was covered, showing only part of her face, but the look in her eyes gave Joseph no doubt as to her identity. Whoever this woman was, she was a 'seer' as they termed it. Her visions of the future had made her a good living, and had given many people much hope as to their life ahead.

Sensing the frustration in the crowd he stood in the way of on the street, Joseph moved over to the side, even closer to the woman. He could tell of her smile, although he couldn't see it. She nodded, closing her eyes momentarily, motioning for him to enter her lowly and humble shop.

Joseph stepped through the hanging beads in the doorway, not knowing why he dared to enter. He had never believed in this kind of thing, although many stories had tried convincing him that something was at work in these people. Glancing around at his surroundings, he indeed felt content with being here. Bottles, mostly made of colored glass, filled her shelves, looking like the small art gallery back home, Joseph thought. A small round table sat on the floor before him, with a chair covered in black leather almost calling his name. The table smelled of jasmine, a not-so-uncommon smell in the shops of Genovia. It was as if she had expected him, and made her surroundings to feel like home just for him.

Her feet shuffled as she came into view again, holding what looked like an hourglass, as she emerged from a back room.

"Please, sit," she said, pointing to the leather clad chair. "I had it brought here just for you." The woman's voice was soft but very stern, and Joseph couldn't help but feel like a schoolboy again.

"For me? How did you know I was coming? Wait..you didn't...you couldn't have. You tell everyone the same thing." Joseph proudly displayed his knowledge of tricks that most shopkeepers used on the bypassing tourists.

The woman sat, unmoved by his declaration, laying the hourglass out before them. "The sand is stormy now, watch it twist and twirl as it passes to the next chamber." She motion to Joseph to watch, showing him the tornado-like spiral the sand created as it moved down. "She is with you." This last sentence left Joseph intrigued.

"Who is with me?"

"She your heart desires." Joseph couldn't believe the words he heard come from her mouth. Maybe it was just coincidence. "Her skin is not the color of sand. The color of this sand, of Egyptian desert sand." She handed him the glass, tracing it with her fingers, showing him the dark sand. It was much different than the sand he knew, the pale grains on the coast of Genovia.

"Your name is Joseph," she blurted out, hardly pronouncing his name correctly.

"Yes," he answered, stunned by her knowledge. She could have seen his picture in the media, but they hardly ever mention his name.

"I just know these things, they come to my mind like memories do to yours," she tried explaining it to him. "She has a great capacity to love, it is written in the sand. So do you, I see. You wear the color of death, yet you have life in your eyes. Give me your hand," she held out her hand, inviting him to join her.

"She doesn't love me," he found himself telling her, not being rational at the moment. She traced her fingers over his palm, following the ridges and crevices like rivers of running water.

"Look into the glass, watch the sand fall. Tell me, what color do you see? What is the color of the sand now?" Falling from one chamber to the other below, the grains of orange Egyptian sand became the scene in Joseph's eyes. He sat transfixed on the hourglass for minutes, almost in a daze, until her words brought him back.

"What color is the sand Joseph?" She repeated to him, eager to hear his answer.

"The sand is pale, parts of it a little darker, with spots...light brown spots. Lots of them." The old woman nodded at his description, understanding the words that were so perplexed in Joseph's mind right now.

"When you see that color, you will find the one who truly loves you. She and only she, will carry love for you for eternity, it will multiply as the years pass, growing to heights you never knew before. Do not be hasty with seeing the color, it will come to you, in time. Be patient, but above all, remember the color of the sand you saw Joseph."

"Do you know who she is? Joseph found himself asking.

"Yes, I know, but it is not for me to tell you. You must wait, let things take their course in time." She patted his hands, reassuring him of the future to come.

"How will I know, colors are all around..."

"You will know," she forced onto him, stressing the words. "Now go, be patient Joseph, and wait for the color of the sand." She stood, motioning towards the door for him.

"What do I owe?" Joseph asked.

"You owe only to yourself." The old woman walked in the back, and he took the cue to leave.

Stepping out in the bright sunlight, Joseph squinted. He wasn't sure what to make of the old woman, or the words she spoke to him. It had been a very strange experience for him, but yet Joseph felt as if the woman had given him some kind of hope. Maybe it wasn't the hope he was looking for, but it was hope nonetheless.

Finding a little cafe, Joseph was more than happy to wait the few minutes after he ordered. "Wait," he spoke softly to himself. Had that not been what he had done for the last so many years? Wait for Clarisse. He had spent it waiting for her. Had he been wrong in doing so? Now he was more confused than ever. Could it be possible she was not the right woman for him? Could the old woman be right? He remembered the past few days, remembered seeing how happy Clarisse had been with that other man; surely it was he that she cared for. He could make no mistake in that. Still, his heart ached with the thought.

Above him hung a picture of the Egyptian desert. A great mass of orange sand, piled high in dunes, looking like massive hills. Nothing but sand. The caption below read "The Great Sand Sea is a peculiar place". Joseph nodded to himself, he certainly could agree with that.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

* * *

Joseph entered her suite, quite shocked really to see her already up and well into the days' event planner. He had been gone for several hours, he reminded himself, but surely she had not gotten much rest. However little she had gotten seemed to have no ill effect on her, as Joseph was swept away by her beauty once more.

"Joseph? Joseph!." Queen Clarisse startled him back into his role. "Really Joseph, I think you need a vacation. Lately you have not been yourself."

Well, she had been right about that. Joseph had not been himself, but then again neither had Clarisse Renaldi.

"I do apologise, Your Majesty. Maybe I do need some time off, but not right now."

"Very well. I, myself, would like to return home this afternoon, if you please Joseph." She lowered her glasses on the end of her nose, eyeing him over their rim.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful." Joseph turned on his heels, heading off to find Charlotte, eager to plan their return trip. The sooner they returned home, the faster things would get back to normal, or so Joseph hoped.

* * *

'What...where...where did all these beautiful flowers come from?" Clarisse finally managed to sputter out in between sniffing the glorious aroma of each bouquet. She had returned to her beloved palace to find the entire entrance-way ensconced in blooms.

"They arrived an hour ago, Your Majesty, along with this letter," a pert young maid declared as she handed over the letter, then bowed before her exit.

"Thank you," Clarisse said, taking the letter, eager to read the sentiments inside, yet already knowing who they were from.

From the smile on her face, Joseph knew who they were from as well. Him. Even after leaving Egypt they had not escaped his presence. The look on her face was another that Joseph could not handle, so he chose to continue his duties, excusing himself as if she would hear him

* * *

It had been a whole month, a long month of flowers and expensive gifts arriving every other day for her. Joseph had watched them arrive, had even taken some of them to her suite. Each time declaring that it would be the last. Yet, when he saw her face light up, he softened, melted inside; and could only wish he would be able to see that again. It hurt, but Joseph was getting use to it now. It was a daily part of life, one he didn't like, but had to deal with. She was happy, then so be it.

On his way out the main entrance, yet another flower delivery was arriving. Joseph watched as the person struggled with a rather large arrangement, then being the perfect gentleman, lend-ed a hand with the delivery himself. He led them in through the large main doors, directing the path to the nearest half-empty table.

Sitting the arrangement down, Joseph came face-to-face with his sand; the pale, yet little darker, with light brown spots. He stood in amazement, thinking of the old woman holding the hourglass, hearing her words run through his memory for the hundredth time.

"They're oriental...," she answered, seeing the question on his face. "Beautiful aren't they?" She fiddled with the delicate petals, taking the time to show off the rare species.

"I've never seen anything like them..." replied Joseph, coming out of his trance. Stepping ever closer to her, he lifted his fingers to the petals, gently stroking the colors of the sand. "Pale, a little darker maybe, with small, light brown spots," he repeated his memory.

"They are beautiful, quite expensive, and very rare," she offered. Joseph turned to her, amazed to see the face behind the voice for really the first time.

"Yes, they are." His fingers came into contact with hers, and for a moment Joseph lost his train of thought. Could this be her? Could this be the woman who would love him so deeply? A dozen questions crossed his mind, and for a split second Joseph wished he were again in Cairo, at the little round table of the old woman.

"My name is Katherine." She offered her hand, amused at his formal greeting as he kissed it slightly. "I own the delivery service on the waterfront. I don't usually make the deliveries, but lately we've been overrun with flowers for Her Majesty.."

"I understand. I'm Joseph, head of security for the Queen," he proudly announced.

"Yes, I know." She smiled to him.  
"You know?" Her statement left him intrigued.

"Of course, everyone knows you. You have quite a reputation, Joseph."

"Well, I hope it's a good one." He smiled to her, still wishing he knew all the answers. She was very nice, and Joseph did feel attracted to her, but it was nothing like his beloved Clarisse. "May I escort you out, Katherine?" Joseph motioned towards the doors. She nodded, accepting his arm, tickled to be 'escorted' by the famous 'Joseph', even if it was only a few steps.

* * *

Trying to relax, he leaned back in his seat as the jet took off for Cairo. This was his only option, as he had spent many sleepless nights now with too many unanswered questions. Several weeks had went by, and Katherine had become a regular at the palace gates. Joseph had found himself looking for her each day, enjoying the fresh air she had about her. Still his heart yearned for his Queen, and he was even more confused than ever. Finally he found himself putting in a vacation notice, just a few days was all he needed to take the trip back to Egypt and speak with her again.

Looking out the porthole, he remembered the stun look of Clarisse's face at seeing his notice. It had been his first notice ever, the very first time he had taken off from his duty. Yes, she was quite surprised, and somehow Joseph had felt that she had been concerned as well. He could admit to himself that he liked that, he liked knowing she was concerned about him. Still, he had assured her that he was well, and he just wanted to get away for a few days. She granted him permission, as there was never a question to that. She may not love him, but she had always given him anything and everything he had ever asked for, whether it had been professional or personal. Queen Clarisse had always cared for her staff, giving back to them a little of the luxury they pampered her with constantly.

Maybe that was why he was so emotional towards her. Maybe he loved her, but loved her in another way, a way that two friends would love each other. Just maybe he was trying to put more into it than he should. Was he so desperate for love that he would do that? Yes, he was older now, and finding himself alone much more. He didn't like that. So maybe he was looking to this woman, who just happened to be his Queen and his friend, just maybe he was looking to her for more because she was there.

Katherine had been there more lately, much more. It had taken only a few days before they found enough courage to actually talk about something other than their names and flowers. She was a true Genovian, a little younger, and much more lively than Joseph. She had her own set of qualities, and Joseph found himself liking her very much. Yet it plagued him that she was pressing matters quickly, very eager to get him out in the night-life with her. Katherine had called him a "celebrity" one day, maybe that was why. Never had he ever realized he was popular. He had always stood in the shadows, yet here was someone who insisted he was just as popular as the Queen, herself; and even more so to the women folk. He snickered to himself at that thought, and decided to let it rest awhile, as he was drowsy, and the flight offered over an hour of otherwise useless time to him.

* * *

Startled out of her senses, Clarisse dropped her tea, almost falling in the floor herself. Trying to steady herself, she stepped over the mess on the floor and headed toward him.

"Talmadge! I don't know whether to kiss you or hit you! You scared the life out of me." She brought her lips to his cheek, feeling his arms around her.

"Really, Clarisse, anyone can get in here unannounced. Did you know that? I only had to bribe three guards to do it." Clarisse stepped away, raising her hands, quite annoyed at his declaration.

"Yes...I'm sure. I was afraid that would happen. Joseph is away." She started to pace her suite, worrying over the safety issue.

"Oh Clarisse, I can help. You know I have plenty of security...I'll just order them here until his return..." Talmadge gladly announced, hoping to ease her mind.

"I couldn't ask you to..."

"You didn't. I offered, well we'll say I insisted on it. Now sit down. I wanted to talk to you."

"I sure didn't expect you," Clarisse questioned as she sat next to him.

"Did you like the gifts and flowers?"

"Oh Talmadge, they were beautiful. Just beautiful. But why?" She was sounding like the Queen now, not amused at his antics. "You know the press had a field day with this, not to mention the staff...this whole place has been upside down the whole time. If I had known where you were, I would have ordered you to stop." She was quite in his face now, rambling on as he just sat and smiled at her. "Are you listening to me?"

"Of course, Your Majesty." She playfully hit his arm, reprimanding his use of her title.

"Good, then stop."

"Yes Clarisse, I will, although you deserve each and everything I sent you." He drew her into a hug, rubbing his cheek against hers.

"Why are you here?"

"It's just an overnight stop, I'm on my way to Spain, and I had a free night. I hope you don't mind."

"Never," she motioned around as if explaining "anytime" with her arms.

"Where is Joseph, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Vacation, he didn't say where. Frankly I was just surprised he took any, he never has before." Talmadge shook his head as if agreeing with her. He didn't like seeing her unprotected, and was more than happy to arrange real security for her.

"Can I get someone to show you to your room?" Clarisse asked, after two pots of tea had disappeared between them.

"I'm not sure," he answered, taking her hand. "Can I request a room?" He raised his brow, waiting for her answer; the answer he knew she would give.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

"Oh..Talmadge." Clarisse tried to think of something, anything that would make a good enough excuse. He had asked before, and now again. She fumbled with her own fingers, twisting and turning her hands while pacing her suite. Finally she decided on the truth. "Talmadge, I really don't want that." She looked to him, eager to see his expression, hoping to not hurt him or push him away.

"Somehow, I already knew that, but forgive me please, I had to try." He smiled to her, then placed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

"You understand?"

"Yes, yes I do Clarisse. I want something I can never have. I'll just have to live with it. Besides, I'm not sure what's in your heart, Clarisse, but I know of a certain head of security who has you in his..." Talmadge blew her a kiss, smiling at the look he had left on her face as he walked out of her suite.

Nearly tripping over her own feet, Clarisse moved over to her chaise lounge, literally falling upon it. Still hearing his words, they were yet to be believable to her.

* * *

Walking the streets of Cairo brought back the words of the old woman during his first visit. Joseph still wasn't sure you could call it a visit. He had not wanted to go in, had not planned on meeting and speaking with this strange woman. It just happened. She was there, waiting for him to arrive. Some strange force of nature drew him into her shop, and from there made history.

Much like the first, again she was waiting for him at the beaded entrance of her door. As Joseph stepped through, he found the room the same as he had left it. The colorful glass bottles, the leather clad chair, the aroma of jasmine. It was homely, at least for him, in more ways than one.

He sat across from her, watching her take the hourglass from her frock. The dark orangish sand still swirled to the chamber below it, and for a moment Joseph wondered if she ever needed to turn it over. It looked like time was standing still in the bottle, for as the sand ran down, the top chamber never lost any nor did the bottom ever gain. Funny, he never noticed that before, if indeed it was like that to begin with. After all, this woman was mystery herself.

"I've been expecting you, Joseph," she began, mispronouncing his name as 'ho-saf'. "Earlier the sand swirled heavily in the chamber, but it has calmed much since then. Something has happened this evening." She closed her eyes, motioning him to remain silent. "It is well," she stated, opening her eyes once more.

"I have questions.." he began.

"I know," she interrupted. "I know your dilemma, I know all about you, remember Joseph. You have seen the color of the sand. Tell me, Joseph, was it the same color you seek?" She looked in his eyes, waiting.

"It looked like the same. It's the only time I've saw it. Tell me, it is her?" Joseph stressed his question, wanting, no needing to know.

"Oh Joseph," the woman chuckled, "listen to me. If you question it yourself, then you already know the answer. It will come to you, Joseph. Don't look for it yourself. It will come to you." She patted his hands on the top of the table, much like his own mother use to do. It helped Joseph to relax. He sighed, nodded to her, and took her hands this time.

"Thank you. I don't know how to thank you."

"Nonsense. Joseph, I make money, much money from the strangers who tour my land. I do not know all of them, not like I know you. When someone comes to my mind like you, when I see them so clearly, I do what I can to help them with anything they need. It is my duty, it is my gift from the great Pharaoh. Now, the color you seek is close to you, so close it could blind you. Do not let it blind you. Do not look for it yourself. Let it come to you, in its own time. Joseph, when it comes, you will know." She squeezed his hands and repeated, "You will know."

Joseph kissed the old woman on the cheek as he got up to leave. He held on to her hands for a little longer, then slipped his away, heading out the door.

"Joseph," she called. "Please, Joseph, take this." She offered him the hourglass. He nodded, taking it in his hand. "I will be here not much longer Joseph. It belongs to you now. My time is running out with the sand." Joseph heard her words, and was greatly moved by them. He felt like his mother was on her death bed again. "Go now, Joseph."

Leaving the shop, Joseph felt his heart hung heavy in his chest. The night may be upon Egypt, but the air was still warm. He struggled to breath, feeling the tightness overwhelm him. Yes, he wanted to cry. He held the hourglass tightly, slipping it in his jacket pocket. When he had crossed the street, he paused, looking back one last time at her shop. He had only been there twice, only talked with her twice, and yet she was more to him than some of his own blood relatives. He would remember her, he promised himself.

* * *

Needing more than just the line he gave her, Clarisse had stormed out of her suite and headed toward his guest room. Bounding in all at once, and rather startling the man, Talmadge couldn't discern whether she was angry or just plain intrigued at the thought.

"Talmadge! How...What..gave you that kind of idea?" she managed to finally sputter out, waving her arms all over the place, not knowing how to express herself.

"It's no idea, Clarisse. That man is in love with you." Clad only in his pants, he slid them down as well, not minding he was in front of the proper Queen herself. He watched in delight as her eyes opened wide and her jaw could have reached the hardwood floor.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting ready for bed. Excuse me, but I already asked you to join me," he teased. "You_ are _in my room," he pointed out.

"Oh, yes. I apologize for bursting in like this. I just had to know...what you said..." She could not for the life of her finish her thoughts.

"Clarisse," Talmadge stated, becoming quite serious, "Clarisse, you and I have been friends, well more than just friends, for so many years. To be honest, I saw Rupert's death as an opportunity for me. I know to you it may not have looked like it, I mean I purposely avoided coming to see you, just because I cared so much for you. I don't want to lose that, Clarisse. You're one of my best friends, frankly you are my best friend." He sat on the bed, motioning for her to join him. "I had my suspicions from the moment I arrived in your suite in Cairo. That whole night Clarisse, well up until he left, I was afraid he would end up killing me, and was quite surprised he didn't commit suicide either."

"He left? Joseph didn't leave." Clarisse was lost in the idea.

"Oh he left, he left while you and I were having dinner Clarisse. After staring at you half the night with another man, well I'm sure he couldn't take another moment of it. I sure couldn't."

"I...I never noticed." She hung her head, trying to recall just when she had lost interest in her head of security.

"Hey beautiful," he replied while lifting her chin with his finger. "Is there anything in that heart of yours for this man? You know your secret would always be safe with me." He smiled to her. "That's why you couldn't sleep with me tonight, isn't it?"

Clarisse stood, then paced herself in a slow walk around the room. There was no sense not to be honest, especially with Talmadge. If anything, he could help her figure out her own feelings.

"I had thought several times before that there was something there...something between Joseph and myself. It's the Queen in me that always pushes it away, refuses to acknowledge that I am a woman, a widow."

"That's understandable Clarisse."

"I never thought Joseph cared for me like that though. I mean he cares for me, more than anyone else has ever, but to love me...I guess that was part of my reasoning to forget it as well." She came back beside him, sitting close as he wrapped her in his arm.

"Do you Clarisse?" Talmadge whispered close to her ear.

What began as a slight nod ended up as a "Yes, Talmadge, I believe I most certainly do."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

* * *

After having his flight delayed for several hours, Joseph was more than happy to finally be back at the palace. He snickered to himself, at thinking that he lived in a palace. Joseph was thankful he traveled light, having to carry only a small bag and one hourglass as he trudged up the steps to the main entrance. Returning a rather quiet and short "good morning" to the guards, Joseph finally stepped into the cool foyer of the palace.

There at his feet were four black bags, and Joseph's heart sunk when he realized who they belonged to. He had saw those particular bags before, in Cairo, his initials imprinted in silver so clearly on each one. Realizing he was on his way out, Joseph concluded he had spent the night. Spent the night here, in this palace; when he was gone; in this palace; Clarisse's palace; alone once more with his Queen. Joseph took a deep breath, and he squeezed on the hourglass inside his front jacket pocket as he headed for the stairs.

Mentally noting to himself that he should take the long route to his room from now on, Joseph came across the sight he had been not only trying to suppress from his mind, but also trying to avoid altogether.

"Thank you for last night, Talmadge," she whispered in his ear as she hugged her friend good-bye for the second time in such a short while. Breaking it apart, she kissed his cheek, then his lips, showing him that he was still very important to her, even if their relationship would go no further.

"You are so very welcome. I hope I was of some help," Talmadge offered her, unknowing to him that Joseph heard his every word.

"Yes, oh yes you were. I'll never forget it, that much is for certain. Now, let me walk you out before I am bombarded with work." Clarisse took his arm, ready to walk him downstairs.

"Oh, Joseph, good morning," she smiled to him, for him this time, not knowing he had mistook the few words just spoken.

"Good morning, Your Majesty, Sir," Joseph replied, nodding to both very formally as he passed them, deciding it would be best to just head to his room instead of taking up conversation.

* * *

"_I hope I was of some help,"_ Joseph mocked the words as he fell backwards across his bed. "_I'll never forget it_," also slipped out of his mouth, remembering the kiss Clarisse had planted on that man. "I'll never forget it," he whispered, bringing the hourglass out of his pocket, and really looked at it for the first time. The sand was falling, but this time it was different, it was really falling. The top chamber was emptying fast, filling the bottom to it's peak. Then he remembered the old woman, the words she said as he was leaving, "_I will be here not much longer Joseph. It belongs to you now. My time is running out with the sand_," Joseph repeated. As his own sentence ended, so did the falling of the grains.

He laid there wishing he knew the truth, wanting to know if she had passed on. When in his heart he did. Something told him she had, and he chose to believe that she had told him the truth, for he had put his trust in her. Now would not be the time to disbelieve, as Joseph realized that the old seer had told him of his own life as well. Right now his own life confused him, so he wanted, needed, to hold onto something he knew to be honest and true.

Joseph pulled himself up, looking for someplace to set the hourglass, someplace where he would see it often and remember her. "There," he concluded, setting the item softly next to his own mother's picture. It was right to set it there; two women who had moulded his life, cared for him, and two who had found a special place in his heart.

* * *

Queen Clarisse Renaldi had yet to sign a document in the right place today, unless guided by Charlotte. She had yet to get past the first paragraph of a letter or document. After the first phone conversation, Charlotte had taken it upon herself to take messages only, just for today. It was quite obvious the Queen had other things on her mind.

Putting her pen down and resting her glasses on the desk, Clarisse gave up. She headed out to the garden, thinking maybe a little sunshine would light her way. Her heels clicked on the stone pathway, the only sound besides Maurice rummaging through her hedges again, no doubt after his ball.

Being Queen, Clarisse had little time for herself. Even now, here on the garden path, seeing no one, she knew she was not alone. Sighing to herself, she thought how it was the first time in quite awhile that she really had taken notice of his presence. She couldn't understand why, why it was that someone she cared so much for, she would always push away. She could understand the coldness about him lately. She had noticed that several times, along with the blank stares and obvious lack of concentration when it came to his job. He did have something else on his mind, Clarisse was beginning to piece together just what that was.

It was doing no good. She had walked the stone path twice now, and still he had not joined her. It had been a good hour, an hour of waiting, yearning, hoping, and overall nervousness. Clarisse needed him now, needed him to join her on one of her walks. She knew he had been watching. Today was the first time he had not joined her.

* * *

Her steps were smooth, and the swaying of her hips almost drove him mad. Joseph leaned against the window, hands resting on the smooth glass surface, almost ready to push out the glass just to get to her.

He watched her walk, running her hands and fingers over the flowers and leaves that were her pride and joy. The confusion in him bounded, even multiplied. How could he believe another was meant for him. His forehead rested on the glass too now. He had been too eager before, looking for the colors before it was time. "Colors," he repeated aloud, vowing himself to try and forget about them. If there was another woman for him, it would have to wait until he was over this one; the one strolling through the gardens below.

It took all the energy he possessed not to go to her, not to walk with her now. After all, she probably didn't want him there anyway, not that close. His job may be to watch her, but he could do that from here. It was relatively safer, he thought, for all concerned.

Joseph thought back to this morning, beating his forehead gently on the glass. Yes, this man had spent the night with her. Yes, she had wanted him to. Clarisse seemed to be happy. With this Joseph settled into a 'let it be' mode. He had no rights to her, after all he was just her bodyguard. This other man was much more well suited to court a Queen.

When she finally disappeared underneath his view, obviously coming inside, Joseph tore himself away from the window. He would keep his distance. In keeping that, he headed for the main control room.

* * *

"Joseph," Clarisse called to him as she opened the door to the empty room. She knew he watched her from here, the room being small and relatively empty except for a chair or two; it was used for security purposes only. The windows were large, and the view of the back gardens were expansive. Clarisse glanced around, sighing at finding it empty.

The sun shining in through the windows was magnificent. Curious as to the view he had seen, Clarisse found herself walking over to the windows. It was magnificent. She had hardly ever really noticed the gardens from a view like this. It was almost as good as being out in the midst of it.

Backing away, she noticed the slight smudges on the glass. Smiling to herself, yes, he had been here. Joseph was well-known for smudging the windows in the palace. He was the only one who would dare to cross the housekeepers.

Needing to find him, Clarisse left the room, unsure of where to go from there. Feeling the excitement in her body at the thought of him, she decided to use the Queen's influence. She would send some guards for him, immediately.

* * *

"Excuse me, Joseph," a young sharp-dressed palace guard interrupted his camera fiddling. "You are required to come with us, sir."

Joseph looked down from the top of the ladder where he had been replacing a camera lens. Two palace guards stood below, at attention, waiting for his descent. He looked to Shades, who had watched them approach and call for him. With a shrugging of his shoulders, Shades relayed a "I have no idea" message. Being quite nervous at having guards waiting for him, Joseph almost lost his footing, luckily catching himself on the way down.

"What is this all about," Joseph finally found the words to ask as he set foot on the floor.

"We are just doing our job, sir. Her Majesty ordered us to bring you to the throne room, immediately." The two guards stepped on either side of him, ushering him towards their Queen.

* * *

Queen Clarisse Renaldi sat on the throne of Genovia. She had opted to wear a tiara, quietly amusing herself with what his reaction would be. At least she hoped at what his reaction might be. Her hands squeezed the arms rests, uneasy at waiting. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

* * *

Escorted by two of her royal guards, a meekly looking Joseph was ushered into the throne room. Upon seeing his Queen, Joseph became rather nervous. Today had not held a "meet and greet", nor was it a special occasion, yet Clarisse Renaldi donned her tiara and sat upright upon her throne.

His steps were small and slow, and a thousand things ran through his head; the first being her beauty. It wasn't the tiara, nor the diamonds she donned. It wasn't the dress, nor the pumps on her feet. Most had likely cost more than he made in a year, yet they were not the source of her beauty. He could compliment her make-up and hair, which came from a morning ritual lasting a half hour or more; but they were not what he saw. Something about her...something so damn wonderfully beautiful...about this woman, his Queen; something that radiated from her inner soul.

Reaching the first step to her throne, Joseph dropped to his knees, both knees. He lowered his head, waiting for her to speak.

* * *

At seeing his expression, her heart leaped. Clarisse could hardly hold inside what she wanted to tell him, why she had brought him here. Slowly making his way between the two guards, Joseph had never looked more humble. He was only a subject, another citizen of her country, an employee. He most certainly looked the part, so why did she feel he was so much more?

She watched his eyes, as they gazed upon her. The darkness reflecting the black of his clothing. She tried counting the buttons on his shirt, the belt loops of his trousers. She wanted to reach out and touch the single solitary earring, emitting a glare from the chandelier above. She wanted to run her fingers through his goatee, trace the outline of his lips. Yes, Joseph was so much more.

As he dropped to his knees, those knees she knew to be painful at times, Queen Clarisse lost all of her resolve.

"Please leave us," she ordered the guards, "I'd like privacy, please see to it." Her voice was stern, but nevertheless soft.

As the double doors echoed closed, Clarisse looked down to the top of his head, as he bowed before her.

"Joseph?" Clarisse spoke softly to him, watching his face come to view. She smiled at him, although she could still see the worry in his eyes. She stood, removed her tiara, and placed it on her throne in her place. Joseph watched carefully her movements, yet moved nothing but his eyes until she stepped down beside him, seating herself on the step.

Clarisse sat lady-like, tucking one foot behind the other as best she could on the small, low step. She needed to be near him.

"Joseph, dear Joseph," she slowly ran her fingers down his cheek. "I apologize for sending the guards. We need to talk, and I was afraid you were avoiding me."

Joseph heard her words, soft and lightly spoken. They were true, he was trying to avoid her. He could find no reason why they needed to speak, no reason that would constitute sending the guards. Choosing to remain silent, he waited for her to speak again as he fought against the overwhelming feeling to lean into her hand.

"I also want to apologize to you for...well for neglecting you and your feelings lately," she added, trying to get some kind of acknowledgment from him. "I am sorry, I got caught up in other things.." Immediately Clarisse wished she had not said that. She knew how it must have sounded, especially to Joseph.

"Other things that were more important, Your Majesty," Joseph finally looked her in the eye, knowing his jealousy was showing through his words. He didn't mean to sound angry and upset, yet the thought of her with another was too much.

"My tiara lies on the throne Joseph," she remarked, motioning up the steps to the royal chair. "Please talk to me. Me, Clarisse." She rested her hand on his shoulder. "And please, please get up, sit beside me."

Glancing in her eyes had been a mistake, it always was for him. His anger vanished, and Joseph was reduced to a living sponge, soaking up everything he could get from her.

Keeping the pain hidden, he moved himself over, lifting up slightly to sit on the lower step also. He stretched his legs out in front of him, trying to organize some thought into words.

"What did you need to talk about?" Joseph wanted to say so much more, but the words just would not come.

"I..ah..I wanted to tell you something, and I needed to ask you a question." Clarisse fiddled with her fingers, unsure of how to go about this.

"I'm listening."

"I guess it would be best to get to the point."

"Yes." Joseph watched her, never knowing her to be so nervous. "Is something wrong?" Joseph began to worry, leaning in to her. Her fingers entwined each other, her foot shook slightly, tapping the carpet underneath.

"Oh Joseph...why is this so hard?" She raised her eyes to the high ceiling, anything to clear them of him for just a moment. "Joseph, I can't do this any longer, I.."

"Stop," he interrupted. "Whatever it is, it can wait until you compose yourself." All he wanted to do was hold her, pull her to him and squeeze their lives together.

"No it cannot!" Clarisse broke down in front of him, finally submitting herself to the honest and heartwarming declarations that needed to come out. "I love you Joseph. I love you with everything I am, and I want to know if that love is returned...any at all." She let out the breath she had been holding, and inhaled an even deeper one, waiting for his response.

The weight of the world had been dropped, from her shoulders, from his shoulders, from the whole country.

"Buh..buh..but," he finally stuttered out.

"Yes or no Joseph, I don't take buts," she kindly tried making light of the conversation.

"That man...last night...Cairo..." Joseph had so many questions.

"That man, that man is just a very good friend, nothing more. How could he be? Joseph, I love you. If not for that man, well maybe I would have never realized it myself. I love you," she reinforced.

"Me? Not him? ME?" Joseph tried reasoning with himself. She had said that.

"You, Joseph, I love you." Leaning over toward him, her lips reached and found his lips, placing a soft, gentle kiss there. "I love you."

"You love me?" Joseph repeated, still questioning what his ears had heard and his brain had translated.

"Yes, Joseph we have settled that." Clarisse let out a small laugh at his boyish charm.

He looked at her, at the beauty beside him. Finally allowing himself the pleasure, he reached out to touch her. His finger ran the length of her cheek, down her neck, across her collarbone to...He stopped. Joseph could hardly believe his eyes. Yet there before him...the sand.

"_The sand is pale, parts of it a little darker, with spots...light brown spots. Lots of them_." Joseph mumbled out loud his own words, remembering every word as the old woman had told him to. His finger was upon the sand, his sand which rested upon Clarisse's chest. It was only befitting that it would cover her heart. There was no question in his mind any longer, Clarisse loved him, and it was a great love.

"Joseph?" Clarisse questioned him, unsure of what her words had done to him. He was off again, not paying any attention to her. She almost felt frustrated, but seeing the smile that lit his face erased any ill feelings in her soul.

"Yes, Clarisse, Yes." Joseph took her hands, squeezing them a little tighter than he would have liked. The excitement pulsed through him. "Yes, Clarisse, I love you. I love you. I love you."

As if having a mind of their own, Joseph's fingers slid their way behind her neck, pulling her to him. He grazed his lips upon hers, letting the explosion take its course naturally.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

* * *

She loved him. Not only had she spoke the words that he had longed to hear for so long, but she was kissing him. It wasn't the swift peck on the cheek like she gave him earlier; it was a soft, hot explosion that multiplied into shock waves reaching to the deepest hidden nerves in his body. The shock waves carried sparks, igniting small fires of passion where ever they went. She loved him. Clarisse Renaldi loved him.

Joseph could not pull her close enough. He lost all resolve to be gentle with her. His arms squeezed her like she would blow away with her next exhale. His mouth covered hers, attempting to breath for her. Never had he ever expected to be able to love her like this. It was too much; unbelievable; and Joseph was afraid it would end at any moment. He wanted to be under her skin, wanted her to depend on him like water. Joseph wanted to know that she could never do without him again. He had just gotten a taste of her, and he knew from the first touch he would never be able to live without it again.

* * *

Clarisse Renaldi had never felt so alive. Joseph was squeezing the breath from her, yet her body used him to live upon, craved him for more. This wasn't exactly what she had planned, but there would be no turning back, no turning back ever. She had tasted his fruits, just mere tastes of the hardness of the man before her. Without a doubt, she could never live without him this close again. It would be devastating to even try. After letting go and falling into him, she needed those tastes, and even more. Clarisse wanted so much more.

Feeling his arms around her, she could not understand how something so hard could wrap her in something so soft and loving. She knew his strength, even felt it; yet her skin ached to be wrapped with his arms. She melted at his slightest touch, melted and conformed to his body.

* * *

She so enjoyed his lips, tasting and teasing her own. They had finally admitted the love they shared, and had just begun to reap of it. They could never explain in words their feelings, and they did not have to. Now they understood each other, like this; wrapped in a totally passionate kiss.

Easing from the urgency, Joseph loosened his grip. He needed to see her, to look into her eyes, see if indeed this made her happy. Joseph pulled his lips away, slowly teasing her out of the passion they had just shared.

Her eyes were the lightest green, sparking with a radiance that not even her tiara emitted. If he had not even seen the smile on her face, he would have seen it in her eyes. Knowing he was the cause of it gave Joseph a whole new life.

"Joseph," she whispered, only inches from his face.

"Yes, my love?" He replied, although he was still engulfed in her eyes.

"What were you talking about earlier?"

"Talking about? Were we talking earlier?" Joseph was still engulfed in her eyes, running his hands over her arms and shoulders.

"Yes," she giggled at his charms once more. "Something about sand?" She placed a kiss atop his nose. "Remember?"

"Sand," he managed to speak and think both at once. "Oh sand. Yes. I was saying," he brushed his lips against hers, "I don't like Egyptian sand."

"Oh?" She questioned heavily.

"No, I like the sand here, very light colored sand...covered in freckles." Joseph met her lips again, pressing his wetness against hers once more in a pure delightful haze. His fingers traced her neckline, her collarbone, down the edge of her neckline. He smiled at her gasp.

"I love you Clarisse Renaldi."

"Joseph, sometimes I find you to be a rather mysterious and strange man, yet that makes me love you even more." She smiled to him, running the back of her hand down his cheek. "I hate to say this, but I have work I have to finish." Joseph nodded.

"So do I."

"Which reminds me...Joseph!" Clarisse became stern again. Joseph watched her in question as she stood, replacing the tiara on her head.

"Clarisse?"

"We have business right now," she stated as she sat on her throne, slipping one foot behind the other and smoothing her skirt. "Joseph, did you or did you not leave your Queen unprotected one night in Cairo?" Her words were slow and heavy, and in every sense belonging to a Queen. Her eyes were now dark, and she watched as her head of security flinched before her uneasily.

"Yes, Your Majesty. I'm afraid I did. I have no excuse. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness." Joseph bowed his head, really feeling ashamed at his earlier actions.

"I see."

"That's not all I'm afraid, Your Majesty." He needed to come clean, he knew. What relationship they could have together must be honest. Joseph raised his face to hers, and taking a deep breath, continued with his words. "I am guilty of jealousy, Your Majesty. I neglected my job as your head of security on more than one occasion. I took a second trip back to Cairo without letting you know I had left."

"So that's where you had been.." she trailed off. "Is there anything else I need to know, Joseph?"

"I...Well,..see..It was I who exchanged your tea for coffee." He felt like a young boy, a naughty little boy who had gotten himself in a lot of trouble. Joseph had never realized before that was exactly how he had been acting.

"YOU? You did that? On purpose? Really Joseph, that was quite childish..." Queen Clarisse thought for a moment. "However, I suppose I am guilty for a few things myself, and maybe I even deserved it. HOWEVER that does not get you off the hook." Queen Clarisse got up, choosing to walk while she thought. "Joseph both you and I are guilty of little things to each other. Those, well I'm hoping will be easy to repair and move on. However, I still am quite dumbfounded that you left me unprotected in Cairo..."

"But his security..."

"Joseph you are my security, and you chose to do your job that night. I knew you were there, and I depended on you. If you had chose not to come, Talmadge and I would not have went out in public like we did. I depended on you that night. I thought you were there for me." Clarisse was angry, trying to hide most of it.

Joseph hung his head in shame, knowing she had a right to be angry with him. Love had blinded him, even to her protection. He was ashamed.

Pulling himself to his feet, he walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders from behind as she managed to stare at the wall in front of her.

"I have no excuse, Your Majesty, Clarisse. I was so jealous I lost my train of thought." Clarisse nodded at his words. She understood, but still, he was her bodyguard. She had just lost trust in him.

"Joseph," she said, turning to face him. "I feel caught here, not sure what to do. If you were just my head of security, I would have to replace you." She stopped to take a breath. "You're not just my head of security though. You're my bodyguard, my friend, my confidant, my companion, my love and my life." Clarisse joined her hands with his. "Replacing you is not an option. I lost trust in you Joseph...after all these years, I feel like I've lost something in you..Can we find it again Joseph?"

"As long as he stays away, I do not see a problem."

"And if he shows up again?"

"If he shows up again, I promise I will only switch his tea." Joseph finally broke the ice, making that beautiful smile of hers come back.

"I want you back Joseph, back as my head of security and as my bodyguard. No one makes me feel safer and more secure. I need that feeling from you. Right now I must return to my duties. If you intend on continuing with your duties...You can start making all that up to me tonight...in my suite, about 10ish."

Clarisse broke away from him, waiting for his reply.

"I'll be there..."

"Good. I'll be waiting."

Clarisse headed out the double doors, leaving Joseph with a huge grin on his face.

"Oh, and Joseph, you make sure I'm not unprotected tonight or any other night for that matter..." She blew him a kiss, not really wanting to leave, nor wait until later tonight. They had both waited for far too long. Only a few more hours, and the waiting would be over, forever.

* * *

There will be a 'pear' posted on _queenschamber_ for all chambermaids to enjoy (in 2-3 days)...

Otherwise this is considered FINISHED.

Laura


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